NOT/BUT
a love letter to libra
I want to share with you a love letter to Libras. It’s called NOT/BUT. This is a piece I wrote for the first release of the moon missives quarterly printed journal back in the Fall of 2017! I can’t believe that was five years ago!! How time flies. I thought it might be “easy” to share a piece I’d already written, but after pulling it out of the archives, I realized (in a very grand air trine way) that this piece needed some TLC. My writing has changed so much since 2017 and so has my astrology practice. My voice is the same, but now I hear myself better. I’m learning that lyricism and poetry and co-exist with clarity. The piece still isn’t quite perfect, but what is? I hope you find something within it to carry through the rest of these lovely Libra times.
NOT/BUT
for Libra Season
The French Republican Calendar—implemented after the French Revolution from 1793-1805, and again for 18 days during the Paris Commune—begins at midnight on the fall equinox. It begins with Libra season.
In the French Republican Calendar, each day has a special name, chosen by the plants and crops and tools used to harvest those crops align with the season. 1 Vendemiaire is Raisin (or, grape). 11 Vendemiaire is Pommes de terre (or, potatoes). 17 Vendemiaire is Citrouille (or, summer pumpkin). Vendemiarie comes from vendange (or, grape harvest). It’s adorable. But there’s also something so strange about this calendar. The choice to begin at the time of year when everything starts to get dark and die (at least in the Northern Hemisphere) takes a healthy pessimism and a salty sense of humor. To begin with Libra season is a reality check. To begin with Libra season is to begin in a state of freefall.
We are all in the gutter.
At the Fall Equinox, there is nowhere to go, but down. This is why Libras desperately cling to balance and equilibrium. One hand grips the calm surface above while the rest of them swings into the dark abyss below. When Libra falls, it’s a long way down.
The other two signs of Fall—Scorpio and Sagittarius—are better equipped for days of waning light. Life is a sweet pleasure in a Scorpio’s dark cave, and Sagittarius thrives when partying (or studying) until dawn. Libras aren’t suited for the dungeon or nightlife alone though, so they must do their best to stay afloat and find their light.
***
Libra is the connoisseur.
The sleuth of taste.
The expert.
Libras catalogue and collect. Libras sculpt concepts into treats.
Libras are romantics. But they often love love—the idea of it, the chase of it—
more than they love the physical comfort of it, the mechanisms of it, the mundane experience of it.
This is because Libras know that real love can be dark. Libras would rather wear their heart on their sleeve, like a sequined patch in the Gucci collection, installed as a permanent exhibit, then venture too deep into something that could never last above the surface.
***
“It’s funny– she got this residency, and I know that she’s an artist, but I’ve actually, um—I haven’t seen that much of her art. But I know that it all must be very good.”
***
Libras know themselves very well. Almost too well. But does anyone else ever really know a Libra? Cancers will splash us with their emotions;Aries will let us know all that they’ve noticed on their journey towards being SOMEONE!!!; Capricorns will reveal their soul meticulously, through their dedicated work. But to know a Libra, we must search for clues in their taste.
Sure, Libras can be muses. Patti Smith worshipped triple Libra (!) Rimband. She wore loose pants, threw on a hat, and called herself a tramp. Voila! But who was Rimbaud, really?
Who is Usher, really?
Who is Kate Winslet, really?
Who is Paul Simon, really?
(it’s…who and Julio down by the schoolyard?)
We think of Libra John Lennon AND Yoko.
We think of Libra Nico AND The Velvet Underground.
We think of Libra Jim Henson AND Kermit.
Some Libras don’t mind the descent, fully give themselves over to the freefall, and speak their mind. Some keep the balance by upsetting it. Sacha Baron Cohen has made alienation his brand, making it so he can only thrive as long as he remains unrecognizable. Simon Cowell built his entire career on being the “bad judge.” Susan Sarandon will never stop defending her vote for Jill Stein. Donald Glover chose to interview himself.
Scorpios live in the underworld, but I believe a Libra is capable of having much rougher edges. A Scorpio is at rest, passive and fixed in descent while a Libra must turn to the darkside. It’s a choice.
We are all in the gutter,
But some of us are looking at the stars.
-Oscar Wilde, Sun and Venus in Libra
When I was studying abroad in Dublin, I lived down the street from a children’s bookstore called The Gutter. This Oscar Wilde quote was plastered all over it. At the time, I was in a very deep depression, and I would get sickened by the quote, what I thought was its sweet naivety and juvenile encouragement. But now I know what Wilde was actually saying.
Everything is terrible and we seek balance.
There’s hope on the vertical horizon.
***
Libra is NOT/BUT. Or, everything must contain what it isn’t.
I was introduced to the idea of NOT/BUT in a movement and choreography class at NYU. Nothing completes the goal unless it actually completes the opposite of that goal. A play isn’t a play unless it’s trying not to be a play. A story isn’t a story unless it’s trying not to be a story.
It’s not a poem, but a map.
It’s not a story, but a song.
It’s not a fantasy, but a cautionary tale.
It’s not clothes, but the clothes.
“If we say, ‘these are the clothes, it’s all very usual. So we said ‘these are not the clothes. It sounds like a Zen dialogue, but it is very simple.”
- Rei Kawakubo, Libra stellium (Sun, Mercury, Venus, Mars & Neptune)
Comme des Garçons founder Rei Kawakubo will never declare herself an artist because if she did, she’d have to to admit that she’s the best one. The clothes she makes are innovative. Her clothes hold space for phantom curves. Cloaks are stagecoaches. From a single pattern, she creates a constellation of forms. This speaks to Libra’s ability to walk in anyone’s shoes, to acquiesce to anyone’s needs, to agree to disagree, and to do so not righteously, but quietly and politely. But not without also carrying what was discarded. Not without hanging another dress from the shoulder of the dress. Compromising does not mean giving in. It means we must carry our demons on the train of our ball gown as we look to the stars.
So why not begin with 1 Vendemiaire, Raisin day, Autumn Equinox, Libra Season, the harvest? Why not start with the freefall? Let us share what we’ve sown. Because the more we take and the more we give then the more we get and the brighter it seems. Our pain cannot be solved in a vacuum.
We are all in the gutter, but we’ll float.
***
xoxo Jaime